its been a week already that I am annoyed by my boyfriend's attitude. Actually, before it never came in to my mind that I'll not let go him (anymore). But now to be honest. I am thinking of letting him go and giving up on this relationship. Or maybe I am just mad at him that is why it came across my mind. I guess!
When I entered High school and entertained suitors by then, I had tons of short term relationship. That is why I was quoted as the school's play girl. Way back then I do not want to hear of that because I know to myself that I am not. Let's just say the boys I had relationship with was not my destiny. Oh yeah, I do believe in that. But some wouldn't agree with me because people make their destiny not destiny making people. :).
Senior Year, I met this guy whom I go gaga with. 1 year and six months of an on and off relationship! He cheated on me twice. And I didn't noticed it for 6months. I thought he was just busy way back then because he was in his freshman year in College. I trusted him. And found out later on that he had, not one but three girlfriends AND WE HAVE ONE BOYFRIEND! I am the one who found it out. Never been that late. And so we broke up.
I cried a river. nah, i think ocean!!! =). And I wished that Ill never bumped into him again. And when they found out that I am free and single. Suitors came in and out again for me. But at this time I chose no one. I wanted more to be alone. because I want him to be mine again. And yes it happened, and this time we are both in College but in different University, different year level, different course and different City. Yes, Its a long distance relationship that's why he cheated on me again! strike two! ;).
And while Im mending my broken heart, my 2nd serious boyfriend came along. We've been together for 1 year and 6months also. I can't remember how the two of us separated. But all I know I got tired of his BUMness in life. He was out of school youth. His trying to be good in school but his brain can't take it so he decided to just work, unfortunately, he never stayed long in his work! I broke up with him the day of my birthday. As of now, I cant remember our happy moments all was the pain I felt when I am with him. But I do not love him anymore. I promise! not even a little. Breaking up with him never came into my limbic system and not even a whole day of crying came into my mind. I felt happiness when I ended the relationship.
I am 2 years single. There were still suitors but it never lasted because when I said no, it wont change. I graduated from College, I finished it with flying colors. And June 2008, bumming around is my profession. We watched NCAA opening game with friends. There, I met my current boyfriend. I remembered everything. I remembered how I felt the first time I saw him. I remembered everything. The way I smiled. The way he looks. EVERYTHING!
And yes, I did met him with the help of my friend which is his team mate! Oh yeah, his a varsity basketball player. A rookie. So his popular in our University. I remembered my face when we both introduced, the way I held his hand. The way I looked. I remember those! And yeah, we became lovers.
As of today we've been together for 2 years and 7 months. His my longest relationship out of three relationships I had. Like the other couple in love we also had trials that we managed to surpass.
I love the way he smiles, the way he cared about me, the way he showed/expressed his love to me. But there's one thing I didn't like about him. The way he viewed life. It will always the start of argumentation. He has a mind of a shoe box! His not open to any changes in life. His very futuristic. He always started something good and he will not end it right. And that's pisses me off.
But every time I saw his face. His smile. All the anger I feel for him was gone, until now the magic stayed.
And now, I realized, before ending this, I cant let go of him. Because I know I am lucky to have him in my life. May be I cant accept that side of him. We have different opinions and I can not accept his. But to sum it all up. I know, his the man God prepared for him. I know he can be with me through all the shit I do, through all the madness.
What I like about him is that every time I am mad at him he'll just hugged me and kissed me and say "no matter how mad at you are to me, I still love you and I can't let you go" =)
I started this I felt giving up and letting him go AND ended this of loving him more and not letting or giving up on him. Because this relationship ain't "just" a relationship but this is a "worth" relationship.
Well, I guess all I have to do is write it down and let my emotions burst out so I could see what kind of Man I have. A man that every woman dreamt of . And I am blessed because I have him for almost 3 years of my life.
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